ninjas, dragonflies, robots, swedish fish, and cars

Just a few of my favorite things.

But none of them even come remotely close to Tracy. She's my favorite thing ever. And soon she'll be my wife.

I can't wait.

stockings, socks, and wedding presents

Tracy's favorite part of Christmas is the stocking. She loves it. Lots of small gifts all individually wrapped and shoved in the bottom of a giant sock. She talks about her Christmas stocking for approximately half the year. So I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that she wants us to exchange wedding stockings.

Yup, that's right: Tracy wants me to fill her normal Christmas stocking with presents for the wedding. I'm not sure if we open them on the morning of the wedding, the night before, or the day after. No matter how you slice it, though, Tracy's getting a bunch of prizes crammed in a sock.

to beard or not to beard, that is the question

Tracy likes me better with a beard. Honestly, she likes me in all mountain-manned up with flannel, boots, and a big bushy beard. I don't mind the beard in colder months. In fact, I often prefer it. But from May - October, it's warm in Maine and a beard is the last thing I want. As such, I shaved my winter beard off about a month ago.

But now the wedding is fast approaching (10 days away!) and Tracy wants me to have a beard. I tried growing one back, but got frustrated with it after about 5 days of growth, and shaved it off this past Sunday. Now, if I don't shave again, I'll have a decent beard by the wedding day, but it's not really the right season for bearding. Plus, there's a lot of skin irritation when it's growing in, and there's a potential for breakouts, which is the last thing I need before the big day.

We've settled on a compromise: I'm going to be stubbly. Just how stubbly is the right amount of stubble has yet to be determined, but I've been doing tests. We figure it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 3-4 days. Four days might be too much, but three may not be enough, so we may have to get as specific as shaving in the evening three days before the wedding so we can see how the growth looks for a 1PM wedding.

Tonight I shave again. I should have two more opportunities to grow the beard back out to an appropriate stubbly length for the wedding. You know, for science. Then I just have to figure out if I shave the neck, or let the stubble go uninterrupted.

See, wedding planning is hard.

the colonel wants you to eat your vegetables

So...herbivores. Funny lot, they. In the absence of meat, they eat a lot of really unhealthy shit to get their proteins. They also tend to eat a lot of salad. That's just sad.

Salad isn't even food. Salad is what FOOD EATS.

As I'm sure you can imagine, I feel awfully bad for my vegetarian friends and the harm they're doing their bodies by denying them the proper proteins that millions of years of evolution demanded.

Fear not, vegematarians! I think I found a loophole in all of this meat-is-murder bollocks: KFC. That's right, KFC. As the urban legend goes, KFC no longer serves chicken. What they actually serve is an abomination of science - a throbbing bit of muscle with no brain that's kept alive through a heavy dose of hormones. (Side note: etymologically, "cock" is suddenly much more descriptive.)

Cool, right? I mean the bit about KFC not actually serving you a real animal. It's just a lab experiment, a happy, happy lab experiment. Sure, it's not any closer to a healthy diet than being an herbivore, but it's certainly better tasting that the other fake chicken products you probably have in the fridge at home.

So there you go,vegetarians. Get out your flags and stick em in the lawn of your nearest KFC. Claim that space for your kingdom. Enjoy your Kentucky fried awesome.

happy belated drunken day

So we had our wine tasting today instead of last week. We had a plan to a work out some big last minute wedding plans. But it didnt work oit that way. Instead, we jus drank too much and ate some good food, I made pierna fritas coconut rice, and mesclun salad. It roughly approximates the meal we intend to have at the wedding, so we ate, heartily. While drinking,

(heartily)

This is a bad post. I thin I'm drunk. Yeah, I'm drunk. So...success!!!

We picked our wines.

something wedded this way comes

Well the wedding is now less than four weeks out and there's still much to be done. Tomorrow night Tracy and I are doing a wine tasting to help us decide what wines to serve. Should be a good old fashioned drunk fest. Just what the doctor ordered on a thursday night. Yeehaw.

errors with our gift registry

I just went back through our gift registry for the wedding. There are no angle grinders, welders, engine hoists or car parts on it anywhere. Something is amiss.